So In Love with my Boy

It sure didn't take long. I have fallen head over heels in love with my little boy. I've never touched his face, heard his cry, or had his little fist grasp my finger yet my heart aches for him; my arms long to hold him. I stare at his picture. I touch it with my finger willing him to feel my love over thousands of miles. I wonder. I pray. Will he love me? I never thought this with my other three. I never doubted they would love me. They do. I loved them before I met them too. Fiercely, like a mother should. This love is not different but it's not the same either. I can't do anything for Kidus now but pray. And pray I do, about everything. I want to leave nothing to chance. I pray about his physical, spiritual, and emotional health. I pray for his care givers. I pray this process will go smooth and God will iron out any wrinkles that pop up. I pray that Kidus will bond with us and we with him. I even pray we will choose the right name for him. We have it narrowed down to two: Rowan (Rowen) Michael Kidus Spracklen and Leif Michael Kidus Spracklen. I prayed for Rowan for a week and now I'm going to pray for Leif. I know God knows exactly who I am talking about. I have seen first-hand how powerful pray is. I could give lots of examples but I'll just give two here. I've wanted to adopt for so long but Adrian was not that interested to say the least. Knowing all the talk in the world wouldn't change his heart I turned to God. Sure, it took about five years of faithful prayer but God did change his heart. Adrian is body, mind, and soul in this adoption. It is wonderful to go through this arduous process with him instead of fighting all the fights myself. Yes, God is good! This next example is more recent. After weeks of expecting a phone call about Kidus' court date that never came, I finally emailed Grace. We received the bad news that not only had they not filed Kidus for court yet but that they wouldn't be doing any filing for the time being because MOWA (Ministry of Women's Affairs) was requiring additional information on relinguished and abandoned kids. I must point out that I cannot blame Hope. This is just one of those frustrating hold-ups that happen so frequently in international adoption. Nonetheless, this was devastating news as we were expecting to receive a court date for mid-November. Now I wondered if we would even get one before the end of the year. I sent out an urgent email to my sisters and my mom asking them to pray and to ask all they knew to pray. God listened and God moved on our behalf, on Kidus' behalf. Less than five days after the bad news email we received some good news. Hope has filed for Kidus' court date and is hopeful that it will be in December! I don't believe in coincidences. Do you?