Still No News

So it's been 29 days since finding out Rowan is in the top three of the GMA/Babytalk Magazine cover contest. People ask us all the time if he's won or when we'll find out the results but we don't know what to tell them because we don't know ourselves. Arghhh! The suspense is killing me! I know that is just a cliche so it's obviously not true but it is getting to me. My nerves are frayed and I find I'm being short with the children. The problem is not just not knowing. It's also not knowing when we'll know. At least the first time I had a set date to circle on the calendar. I just want the phone to ring and someone to tell me he won or he didn't win. Stop the torture and just tell me the results already. Of course, I want him to win and I'll be pretty devastated if he doesn't win but at this point I really do just want it all to be over.
I do take a lot of comfort in talking to God about it. I know he knows the results. Unfortunately, he's not spilling the beans. There are a lot of great passages in the Bible about patience and God's will and taking care of orphans (that would be feeding them and the like, not winning contests, btw). I also take comfort when I hold Rowan and think, "I've already won the prize. I got him!" It doesn't get any better than that! When I think of where we were a year ago: we had a referrel for this teeny tiny baby, a blurry picture of him and not a court date in site. That is true torture when it comes to wanting something to come and not knowing when it might happen. Every adoptive parent knows exactly what I'm talking about. It says in Habakkuk, "though it linger, wait for it; surely it will come to pass." This will come and pass and life will go on and I will wake up each morning and Rowan will wake up and I will parent him and love on him and thank God for him. And thank God for him.